Ok a quick lesson to you gurus
There’s a reason why some PUA instructors come to me, and NOT THEIR OWN COMPANIES, for training. One of them is the NLP methods I teach and the reframing and language training that has been embedded in their brains for so long they don’t realize it’s a problem. Here are the language issues.
1. Don’t use “Don’t”. Be active (See how I changed it around?) Anyhow when coaching a person use active commands rather than “Don’t do this or don’t do that.” The word “Don’t” is a negative… it is dropped out when the subconscious hears it and makes the brain prone to subconsciously doing the action afterward. For instance don’t do what this says: Don’t focus on your breathing.
If you are like most people you started focusing on your breathing. Even though the word “Don’t” is in front, it amplifies the action you don’t want them to do. It’s like long trips. You yell at kids in the back seat while driving “Don’t hit your sister.” or “Don’t fight” and suddenly you have world war 3 in the kids backseat. “Stay quiet.” or “Behave” are active words that condone a message that they are more likely to follow for the desired result. (Then you have those brats who won’t fucking listen to you anyhow).
2. Stop calling your clients AFC or “Averago Frustrated chumps.” Glues the situation on them. It’s smart marketing though. By calling them AFC’s you name them chumps and brainwash them into being your customers a long time because they will take a longer time to improve because of the hypnotic role you have put them in. So good for you! Bad for your client. Win win win is what I always say, so my clients start out as average frustrated naturals. TM. 🙂
3. Stop calling them sticking points. They are “Improvement opportunities.” Calling them sticking points is a smart marketing ploy to brainwash your clients into thinking they are stuck and can’t get out of this situation. By calling it sticking point, you have convinced them to stay in your program even longer because you give them proven techniques, then can sell them inner game training at the same time! What a great frame to sell more products!
4. Stop sending emails that make your students/clients/customers feel even worse about themselves. “She’s gonna leave you!” “You are always in the friends zone.” “She leaves with the asshole all the time.” GREAT marketing to make a guy feel like a loser then have the magic wand that gets him better. BULLSHIT. You are programming desperation into guys who are always desperate. SHAME ON YOU.
I actively look for ways to get guys out of this brainwashing system. Many guys are good when I get them but have read so much they are brainwashed that they need all this horsecrap from the wrong gurus just out to make a buck. Yes I get paid. And I have the worst business model in the world. I get guys good fast and they stop giving me money. Quickly. I teach them how to learn… on their own. What a concept! Come to me once and I teach you the way to learn fast. I don’t tag you along to keep you buying product after product. I have none! Woohoo! I only teach bootcamps and one on one evening trainings. That’s it. The worst business model for a coach. I don’t care. Because I’d rather you succeed and spread my name word of mouth than use any of the above tactics to make my students feel any worse than they do already in a delicate situation.
PS–Can you tell I’m sick of it?
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