The following video hit home for me today. We have had lots of arguments in the local NC game group. Some guys think they are good because they are getting lots of women. Others think they are good because they find themselves with the “Right” women in mutually beneficial relationships. Some guys think they are good because the latest technique got them laid by yet another different woman. Others think they are good because they used their genuine selves and personalities lead to a woman respecting and loving them for who they are on the inside.  Right now I have 2 sets of students. Those that look at women as the “Coins” they collect in a video game and those that look at women as the greatest thing on earth to join up with in mutual benefit.

 

The following two TED talks explain what I’ve been observing in many students and colleagues when it comes to their training. Sometimes they are fulfilling the new trend of “arousal addiction…” rather than becoming their best selves…

 

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Zimbardo illustrates that we are rewiring men more and more with arousal addiction: The desire for more different things. He doesn’t suggest any ways to improve this but is very frank how men are no longer men in social settings or in the bedroom due to this addiction. Prior to this a woman made the same observations…
 
http://video.ted.com/talk/stream/2010W/Blank/HannaRosin_2010W-320k.mp4&su=http://images.ted.com/images/ted/tedindex/embed-posters/HannaRosin-2010W.embed_thumbnail.jpg&vw=512&vh=288&ap=0&ti=1033&lang=eng&introDuration=15330&adDuration=4000&postAdDuration=830&adKeys=talk=hanna_rosin_new_data_on_the_rise_of_women;year=2010;theme=celebrating_tedwomen;theme=unconventional_explanations;theme=women_reshaping_the_world;event=TEDWomen;tag=Culture;tag=Global+Issues;tag=economics;tag=education;tag=women;&preAdTag=tconf.ted/embed;tile=1;sz=512×288;” /> http://video.ted.com/assets/player/swf/EmbedPlayer.swf” pluginspace=” type=” application> type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” wmode=”transparent” bgColor=”#ffffff” width=”526″ height=”374″ allowFullScreen=”true” allowScriptAccess=”always” flashvars=”vu=aaa>
 
Her best quote: An ideal leader of the past was a dictator and told people what to do. An Ideal leader now, “is somebody who can foster creativity, who can get the employees to talk to each other, basically build teams and get them to be creative… and those are all things women do very well.” 
 
“Men are the new ball and chain.” Men are being seen as the losers in the shift from manufacturing economy to information economy.
 
The end result of all this info? Men need to retool, beware of arousal addiction, and keep a balance between analog vs. digital lifestyle to learn how to connect with women again.  It’s part of the foundation of my training for guys looking to get better with women. Slow things down, observe the women rather than your loins and your penis compass. Socialize in groups rather than spending hours in the man cave. It’s no surprise one of the latest headlines out there was about a guy who did a marathon video gaming session and died from a pulmonary embolus when blood clots formed in his legs from sitting in his house for close to 48 hours straight playing a popular video game.
 
You may be noticing the trend in the bar scene I’m seeing. Lots of successful women using the guys as sex toys. And the same night lay masters looking to provide them with good feelings. Many of my students are ok with that… however the end game is about finding women who mutually respect you. Men who are arousal addicted are perfectly fine being the sex tools for these women because a different women every day keeps that arousal up.  The “Natural” you are seeing out in field may actually be beta’ing himself so much to women that he has written off deeper relationships with women.  I’m noticing the mutual love and respect women have for men dwindling in this situation. Students are getting good at using “Game” to have many sexual encounters… but ending up empty on the inside because they have no relationship management skills to allow them to bond with anyone. They don’t have the alpha enjoyment of being the “Provider” anymore. The women they encounter more often than not are making much more money than them. I see hired guns paying more so for the apartment or car and their “slacker” boyfriends on the couch playing video games. I know about many of these guys because my students are having sex with their girlfriends who see their boyfriends as emasculated. If you can’t lead yourself to a better life, women see you as a failure in the bedroom too.
 
I’ve retooled my training to be more about regaining the alpha status and some equality back in relationships with women rather than being fooled into becoming their omega male sex toy.  Has your guru noticed this problem yet, and how it can emasculate you? You may be getting more sex, but you may also be getting more beta to your women you have sex with. Stay alpha, lead, provide, and avoid arousal addiction. Life is NOT a video game with points for every woman you lay. The path to being your best self involves surviving these shifts in the world’s view of the value of men and maintaining your manhood.  Game shouldn’t train you to be a ball and chain sex toy of a social set, but many so called puas are just that. Rise above it.