Behavioral Change Basics for the Master Pickup Artist Part I

Over the last few weeks I’ve seen several students just stuck in their learning and old patterns. They a so stuck they just don’t even open even though they are spending their hard earned cash to have me next to them. They are findings their barriers too strong to allow for behavioral change. So with these students in mind I went back to my teaching archives to explain how to make behavioral change more understandable and for them to come up with their own personal, simplified plans for creating behavioral change and blasting through improvement opportunities. (I don’t call them sticking points. It’s a nice marketing ploy to get people stuck so they keep buying products or bootcamps). So this is the first part to explain basic behavioral change. The second part will explain how to make the change easy. Also I just had to take a driving school for speeding, and this is what the instructor helped teach as a way to change my speeding during driving. So it was fresh in my head…


Human behavior is 4 components: doing, thinking, feeling, body reactions.    They are affected by our wants and driven by our needs. So if you imagine that human behavior is a car, the 4 components work like four wheels on a car. They all work together to allow the car to roll along. Our wants steer us like the steering wheel, and our needs are the engine that drives and powers the wheels forward.

All these things are interacting to decide our behavior. We are powered by our needs, steered by our wants, but we have 4 tires affecting our power and ultimate direction: Doing, Thinking, Feeling, and body reactions.

The front wheels are our doing and thinking since this is where we have control on the direction of our behavior. But the only component you have COMPLETE control of is DOING. Doing is the easiest portion of the behavior car to control and change.

Now luckily us top gurus have hypnosis and NLP and tapping to affect the feeling and body reactions and thinking so there is a way to shift those frames and feelings rapidly, but those ultimately are not under your control… moldable but not under your control for the most part.

So when you stay home you aren’t doing. When you stand there and refuse to open, you are not doing. When you are told to wreck the room and you don’t, you are not doing.

You are making a behavior choice by not doing. If this metaphorical car is your behavioral change, by not doing, you are choosing to sit in a car that isn’t moving with the engine running and wasting gas and money at 3.50 per gallon. 

You are a car just sitting there rather than steering to a new direction of purposeful behavior while moving forward. YOU have full control over doing. We want your car doing NASCAR speeds and nearly hitting the walls, but in control. It takes DOING.

So after you read this ponder this question. How important is improving relationships and the ability to attract women to you? How serious are you about it? Do you really want to meet women and attract them and have multiple win win relationships until you find the one or several?

If you don’t improve the relationships aspect of your life, what do you lose?

So if this is truly important to you… WHAT ARE YOU NOW WILLING TO DO TO GET WHAT YOU WANT? 

If you did not answer, “Go out in field as often as I can, open the women I’m interested in and all people, and follow my instructor’s instructions,” Then you may want to rethink what you are doing this for.

Many students currently are acting like a kid in a music lesson. The teacher says “Practice this this week”. The kid goes home and doesn’t practice. The next lesson they still play like shit and have not gained any momentum or improvement in their instrument playing. The teacher still gets paid, but the student has decided even though they want to be a rock star, they don’t want to do what it takes. It’s a passive aggressive tantrum.

Do you really want to change your behaviors and be attractive to women? Doing is the only way to get there. Doing is moving that front wheel drive forward so the behavioral change occurs. IF you don’t do, you really have to question your committment to change and getting all the things you see other guys doing.

Answer this now. On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to making changes to your behavior while behind the steering wheel? 


WHAT THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP TO FINALLY MAKE SOME RAPID CHANGES in your behavior. IF you don’t do, your commitment is suspect. If you would rather have your balls grabbed than talk to a woman, I REALLY question your true committment. A guy who refuses to open is a guy who chooses celibacy. However, there are simple steps that can be undertaken to make you commit to smaller changes first that will add up to an overall improvement in your game. That will be in part 2. However make sure you answer the questions about your commitment.