Basic Lesson. Saying “Hi”
People ask me what tips work for confidence and change. I always ask them if they know how to say, “Hi” to people. They look at me puzzled. They’ve been saying “Hi” forever. However it’s usually comfortably reserved for people they know or are expected to meet. The cold-approach version of “Hi” is a whole ‘nother story for a training social artist.
I learned this drill from my wingman Baron, who learned it from his wingman, it was on David DeAngelo’s website, and there was a guy way back when that he got it from.
It’s fairly simple but powerful. Say “hi” to strangers. There are different rules and methods
Method Number 1——————————David DeAngelo’s method
RULES: Just say hello to about 10 people a day who are cold approached strangers, Avoid outcome dependence and be Outcome independent. Ask people how their day is going, ask what movies they have seen. Just practice being social a little bit more each day. If you are like me and live in the country, go somewhere where there are lots of people you don’t know.
For one month:
1) Take a 30-minute walk, rain or shine, EVERY DAY.
2) Walk in a place where there are people about
3) When walking, just say to yourself “Let’s have some fun!” as your mantra for meeting people.
4) When walking past people, smile and say “Hi” to one person. It does NOT matter if they say “Hi” back or even look up. “Hello,” “What’s up,” “Hey” should be avoided. Stick for a very simple, “Hi.”
5) If you see a woman you would be interested in, say Hi, and stop. Introduce yourself. Might as well start now. After the name exchange, Tell her the truth. You are walking every day for 30 minutes to have conversatons with friendly people because you are learning to be social
6) Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
7) No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
8) Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did.
One check for walking for 30 minutes.
One check for everyone you greeted with a hello.
One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with
9) When you see you have three checks, celebrate by rewarding yourself. yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.
It seems like a silly, simple exercise but I met a local PUA who did this and trained me to just do this at a local mall. It’s amazing how your frame changes once you get a few successes. Once you get the “Hi” just right, you figure the “Way” to get it to work for you. When I first started nobody said hi back. Then I projected the hello louder, I changed my body language, I put a coy smile after the hi. Now I do it and everyone says hello and is instantly easy to open just from the mild nuances I changed. It’s a basic way to learn
how to change your frame.
I started saying hi to everyone. Then because the mall is chock full of them, limited to saying hi to all HB5’s and up. But getting a coy smile back from all HB7’s and up ramps the confidence level up instantly.
The PUA who had been helping me and I had used this technique to “Get us in state” before we went out. The painless ability to say hi and get others to say hi back makes opening later in the night less riddled with
approach anxiety and makes opening sets that much easier so that our skills ramped up even faster.
Learn to say “Hi” in a way that gets a friendly response back. Soon you’ll get 10 out of 10 people saying “hi” to you all the time gaining a social confidence that builds the building blocks to success
Method 2: Just say hi at the mall
1. Say Hi to all HB5 and up ladies
2. Adjust tone projection, smile, approach angles until you can get at least 6 out of 10 hi’s back. You have mastered when you can get 10 out of 10.
3. Walk confidently, feet always going forward and not turning towards the ladies, and regardless of whether you get a “Hi” back just keep going to have outcome independence whether they say hi back or not.
4. If you are very interested in someone, of course stop and talk using direct opener.
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